Bzz, bzz; bzz bzz… the alarm and flashing light signalled the start of the conveyor belt that began to spew suitcases onto the carousel, as weary travellers suddenly sprang to life and surged forward, some using trolleys like battering rams, as if ready to do battle to reclaim their luggage.
Why couldn’t she just have emailed a photo? It’s been at least forty years, he continued.
Over forty, I replied. But she seemed certain I’d know her. Maybe she’ll wave a placard or have a sign. I suggested we all wear pink carnations, but…
‘Scuse me, sorry ‘scuse me shouted a wiry little man bowling people out of the way as he ran in hot pursuit of his case, like a greyhound chasing the rabbit at a racetrack.
Bet ours will be off last, Andrew grumbled.
Ah, “the first will be last and the last first.” Very biblical!
First on, last off more like it, he said. I watched the bags being loaded – those guys didn’t seem too fussed about fulfilling scripture to me… Look at the size of these cases! Some folk certainly have a lot of luggage!
Baggage too maybe… I feel a sermon coming on…
Spare us! Saved by the bell, there’s yours and mine right behind. Good, let’s go find this long lost friend of yours… and what? Stop whingeing? Me whinge? Never! I just get a little anxious dealing with the unknown. Yes OK, it is very nice of her to come to Gatwick then drive us all the way to Cardiff.
Half an hour later, we were both whingeing having cleared customs then walked through the door, not knowing what to expect on the other side – if not a welcoming committee exactly, at least someone I half-recognized with balloons or bouquet maybe, but instead – nothing. We had not parted on the best of terms despite having been close friends, so that made it worse when there were no flowers, flash mob, nor happy reunion – nothing. Now I was anxious, wishing we had a cell phone, or some way to contact her. What do you do? Was she held up? How long do you wait?
After the initial disappointment we wandered around staring at strangers, getting some funny looks in return, even checked outside, then returned to the arrivals area for one last look before Plan B – taking the train. Reluctant to leave, I wondered if it was a test or perhaps payback time, serving me right for disappearing all those years ago, chucking in church while she became a big wheel in the Band of Hope. As my own baggage began to weigh heavily, a familiar voice cut through the chaos calling my name. Limping towards us with a cast on her leg and parting the crowd with her crutches, like Moses using his staff at the Red Sea, she suddenly appeared out of nowhere. And here she was, wearing a silly battered school hat with scarlet and black headband complete with our badge. It turned out she had spent half the night in emergency, then the rest of it packing a picnic and getting ready. It took forever her husband told us. So did loading us all into their tiny car and lifting my friend into the back seat, resting her leg on my lap.
Why didn’t you leave a message with the airline, and cancel this? I asked.
Couldn’t she said, we’re going away too, and this is important. There’s so much to explain, so much to put right. I let you down, abandoning you like that. Never again! she said.
Hold it, that’s my line, I interrupted, leaving you to fight the good fight as Temperance Queen, witnessing and winning souls for Christ!
So what if I was not there for you when it mattered, when your folks died? I ran for cover, not knowing what to say or do. Weren’t you mad with me? she asked.
No, I didn’t have time and that’s the truth. I was too mad with my parents for dying and leaving me like that, and too mad with God.
Is that why you lost your faith? she asked.
Who said I lost my faith? No point getting mad with a God you don’t believe in – getting mad with God takes a lot of faith because you expect to be heard and taken seriously.
Then what? her husband asked, joining in. What did you expect God to do? Good question. I could only answer with what believe, and believed back then – that God does what God always does – loves us, forgives us, understands and forgives.
And that’s supposed to make things better is it? he demanded.
Yes actually, I thought that was the whole point, because then we can try to do likewise, spreading love and forgiveness about like Jesus asked.
Not everyone agrees apparently, but the four of us crammed into a tiny car came to the same conclusion as we tried to make sense of events that took place forty years ago. It was quite the journey, discussing and reliving the events that shaped our lives, raising issues of life and death, faith and fear, hopes and disappointments, mistakes, misunderstandings, remorse and the amazing grace of forgiveness that can rekindle love in relationships.
Forty years, that’s how long it had been since those life-changing events and choices we‘d made – about the same time that had passed since the events surrounding Christ’s death, when Luke wrote his Gospel trying to make sense of the stories he’d heard and collected, sharing the good news of how encounters with the Risen Christ had given birth to belief in resurrection and made the world of difference to people. Forgiveness is central to our faith and intimately linked to the resurrection because it offers new life. We have all seen the difference forgiveness can make and what happens when there is none – witness the ongoing conflicts in parts of the world where revenge and retribution rule. Maybe you have also known people who have let something hurtful to eat away at them, eroding their capacity for peace and happiness, or hurting others. Or what about any baggage we’ve carried – the things that disturbed our peace of mind like times when we have felt let down, or worry we have let ourselves down, letting others down into the bargain? How do we find peace afterwards?
Can it be any worse that what the disciples had to deal with in that upper room, perhaps discussing how they’d let Jesus down, some even daring to admit that they’d felt let down too? Maybe Christ’s arrest and crucifixion had been a huge let down – not the kind of glorious victory they had wanted. And what about Jesus in the Garden praying for God to find another way – did he feel let down as he agonized over the options and suffered so much while his friends slept, scarpered, doubted him or lost faith?
That’s a lot of let-downs, yet after all that Christ kept popping up in the most unexpected ways, offering peace to different people in different ways. A name or word, simple gesture, shared meal, even the giving and receiving of a small morsel of food could reveal his real presence and still can – still does. Christ explained everything to the disciples then forgave everything and told them to go and do likewise. Talk about transformed! Perhaps they barely recognized themselves – women speaking up, becoming bold witnesses; zealots becoming ambassadors of God’s love; cowards finding courage; and folk who’d failed miserably or felt let down preaching forgiveness to those they had once feared or blamed. How? Why? – because they had been forgiven – sorry, and forgiven. Forgiveness is at the heart of the good news and peace of Christ.
These days it’s widely recognized that forgiveness is the path to peace and well-being. By making our peace with others helps reduce stress and gain peace of mind. When I recognize the warning signs and that disappointed, hurt, angry young woman of forty years ago starts to surface I know there’s work to do – forgiveness usually,.. and that’s where Christ comes in…